“My daughter was murdered. I want to start a charity to support women in domestic violence.”
“My nephew died of a rare form of cancer and my sisters family lost everything trying to be there for him through the entire time. I want to start a charity to support families, so they don’t need to worry about finances during this time.”
Compelling, right? These all sound like incredible causes to support, right?
I am frequently sought out by passionate, motivated, and well intended individuals wanting to start a charity. All are grounded in a deep desire to not have anyone else go through that hardship again.
I work with them. Usually for 1-2 sessions. Almost never any more.
Occasionally those who see a need and wish to exploit it for their own gains come along as well. Those people are usually shockingly transparent about their desire to drive fancy cars and live a lifestyle of the rich and famous for bestowing their good deeds upon their community.
I will work with them, for a fee. Usually 1-5 sessions (their belief in their superiority usually propels them further than those with altruistic intentions). Never more.
Both have three critical, and limiting, elements in common.
- None have been willing to sacrifice what it takes to build something that is not going to generate sizeable funds potentially ever, and certainly not right away. No matter how much they believed in themselves and/or their cause, the amount of effort required to launch their charity has always been insurmountable.
- None of them have been willing to share limelight. I have suggested strategic partnerships to create exposure, build brand awareness etc. None wanted to share even a small amount of the success they ‘knew’ was coming.
- All have been unwilling to put themselves last. Even just for a short while. Most would say it’s unfair to have to put yourself last anyway. Most will never understand it isn’t about fair.
They all possess a compelling story, have a great deal of passion, and they’ve all had some form of charisma.
To create something new in the NPO world, you must lead differently. The success of your mission requires others to buy in. Literally, and for what? They receive nothing tangible in return. They receive nothing but the belief in the cause and personal joy in supporting it, and you. They must choose to follow, unlike when someone is employed and is obligated to.
Due to this reality, using a leader in this situation is a great way to exhibit the three best ways to determine whether a leader deserves your allegiance, or not.
The true value of a leader is not the ‘great founding story’. Nor charm or charisma. All of those are smoke and mirrors. The true value is in what lies behind the scenes where most people don’t see.
Inspiration is the magnet through which most people are drawn to leaders and their cause in the first place. True inspiration doesn’t fade days or weeks after hearing a moving story.
Common inspirational traits i.e. bravery, humility, an inspirational story etc. move people but they are all utilized by most leaders including those who will utilize them to deceive.
I will dive into the three most important ‘tells’ which show those from the outside if the leader is a: worthy of following and b: whether the inspiration is true, or surface only.
True inspiration is shown, not told.
We can all hear and inspirational story and be moved for a period, but the feelings fade and the motivation expires as our psyche becomes more accustomed to their story.
You can gain many clues to the quality of leader when you hear them speak.
Actively ask yourself the following questions.
- Do they live the strength they exemplified in their story? Is the ‘healing’ they attested to fictional and told with vigor to create a response without it being truly achieved? What is the purpose of the story? What do they want from you?
- Are they allowing the audience to feel or are they ensuring the audience feels what they want them to?
Secure/ transparent leaders will tell their story and let you feel what you will.
Less secure leaders will speak about their feelings to curate the same feelings in you.
Are they who they say they are?
When determining whether a leader is as stellar as they seem, I would counsel everyone to look beyond the public face and learn about what goes on behind the scenes. Many would argue their private life is not anyone else’s business. I would agree, most times. However, when someone is asking you to trust them, give up your personal time, go out on a limb and align your name with theirs, it is now your business.
We all have different faces required to navigate different situations appropriately, but what I believe the most inspiring leaders have, is complete alignment between all ‘faces’. Sure, there may be more profanity slipping out behind the scenes and occasionally relieving awkwardly placed itches, but again, it is about their actions.
If they promote honestly, are they honest? If they promote generosity, are they generous in the ways they are asking you to be? If they demand professionalism, do they conduct themselves in a way that makes you happy to have your name attached?
When words and actions do not align, that is a red flag. When words and actions do align, that is a leader to consider following. Why? Because it is incredibly difficult to live like that. To live by your word, you will be choosing being honourable over what is comfortable, over what is convenient etc. repeatedly. That is a leader, who will be true to the mission through mistakes, learning curves and all challenges. That is a leader you can count on.
Do they give credit for the good and take the blame for the bad?
This is something to watch carefully for. It is incredibly telling as most people will put self preservation ahead of everything. If you observe the opposite, you can be sure of two things.
- They have a sizeable amount of humility.
- They are willing to put the group ahead of themselves.
- They don’t care about what is considered ‘fair’ when it comes to them taking blame and passing up on credit. Protecting and elevating their team will always be most important.
In a world where everyone must sell themselves as a leader or risk never getting a promotion, being seen as an under achiever etc. It has become more important to critically decipher between those who are genuinely what they say they are and those to be wary of.
When you align yourself with an organization, remember you are aligning your reputation, and those of all connected to you as well.
Be careful. Be critical. Don’t be impulsive and remember someone you can trust will not be afraid of you taking note of all the above.
